Next Blog

Hallelujah. I found a use for my blog.

Kind of.

Sort of.

Not really...

But, I did find a useful tool to inspire myself and to find more people to follow. There's this phenomenal button called "next blog" and I click the button to find another random blog in the blogosphere. My first visit was a book review website, which I thought would be wonderful, until the woman reviewed the Twilight series (not saga) as wonderful. Blehhh. So I kept pushing "next blog." I didn't find anything that I would continue to follow, but I did stumble upon (isn't that another website?) a family tree website for the Fitz-hughs (with or without a hyphen), an insightful CPA, a British-born U.S. citizen who loved the Marines, a very religious man and a man who loved The Time Traveler's Wife but couldn't spell the title.

So next time you're bored or feel like exploring, click next blog. Who knows what treasures or laughs you'll discover?? :)

Ay dios

I've decided I'm a half-assed blogger.

and I'm not sure if I'm okay with that or not. I guess since this is personal and only one-five people read this, I suppose I'm allowed to be half-assed. But maybe I should step up my game and talk about serious things besides my feelings and nonsensical things. I should start doing a post a day and talk about a serious thing, or at least keep up my Sheldon blog, who now has a companion. I don't know. Maybe I should give up completely and delete this whole thing and start over with a completely different outlook.

I mean, I have a Mac now. and I have no idea how my font changed. Whoops.

Until we meet again, I suppose.

She's a Maniac

This is what I feel like doing right now.

when you belong to a song, salty eyes, you belong.

i'm listening to the matches on shuffle and staring at my media law homework. i have two more questions left but one question has five parts, each of which has at least two parts, so you do the math as to how much i have left.

basically, i can't focus. you think the motivation of getting everything done before tuesday would be enough drive and focus to get it done, but, alas, i've been sitting at my computer for four hours (?) doing nothing but browsing websites and imdb'ing random people. i wasted almost all day yesterday too with my mother watching movie after movie and getting half of the homework done, so that sucks. i need to turn my internet off or something, but i don't think that'll get me anywhere. i can just as easily turn it back on.

all this procrastination makes me want to leave school that much faster. i just want a job and to move out permanently and pay my own bills and deal with everything by myself. i realized that i don't have much fun anymore--little to no fun, really--and it's because i'm so stressed and i have few real friends. i hardly eat, sleep a lot and don't enjoy anything i do. i'd like to change this, but i don't know how.

hopefully i can start next semester with a new outlook on life and start exercising and eating better. i always try this approach though and i end up eating sandwiches three weeks in.

anyway, i better get back to trying to focus. sorry for the complete randomness of this post. i just needed to vent. i need to cut my nails.

Detours

I can't handle anything right now.
I can't deal with stress; with life; with my job; with anything. I need to do SO MUCH for all of my classes and I honestly cannot. I can't stay up all night, I can't read minds of professors, I can't spend time with everyone. I kind of don't want to go to Disneyland on my birthday so I can work on homework and do other, more important things.

And I never thought I would say this, but I just want to be at home. I feel so happy there. I have no responsibilities and no stress. I just have to take care of Elvis, run errands, watch TV. I feel free and wonderful.

I think I want to hibernate until graduation or maybe until retirement. Isn't that called a coma?? I don't know. I'm exhausted. I can't focus or think or feel or breathe.

Good night.